Once, a very long time ago, I bought lens wipes. The smallest available size for order was a two-pack, containing hundreds and hundreds of individually wrapped wipes. For months after they arrived, I'd diligently restock my glasses cases, pocketbook, and gym bag every couple of days.
For a time, they were my superpower. My glasses lenses, formerly as foggy as a San Francisco spring, became clear as the day I'd first worn them out of Lens Crafters. Looking into the faraway sky and accurately identifying whether or not there was a cloud was suddenly my specialty. Rainy days were no match for me. A grease-splattering recipe? I had it covered. I'd even offer the wipes ostentatiously to others—at first, glasses-wearing family members, then friends, then, near the end, even passersby.
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